I believe many of you have learned vocabularies about “wife”. As shown in the title, there are a lot of different ways to call “wife”. I know. I know. Quite confusing, right? In the following weeks, I will introduce the history about where these “wives” come from and when to use of each of them. This weekend I will start from妻(つま) and 嫁(よめ).
妻
The very first 妻(つま) was mentioned in the 古事記(こじき or ふることふみ) which is the oldest extant chronicle in Japan written in 奈良時代(ならじだい) A.D. 712. It says,
“私の名はアシナヅチといい、妻の名はテナヅチという。”
(わたしのなはアシナヅチといい、つまのなはテナヅチという)
My name is アシナヅチ, and my wife’s name is テナヅチ.
According to historians, there was no official marriage regulation at that point. Instead, a marriage would be acknowledged as long as mutual parents permit. That is, in奈良時代, wife means the female who is permitted by parents to live with a male. It is similar to the contemporary meaning. Therefore, we can conclude that the meaning of 妻 has been inherited from the ancient times. So it is appropriate to use 妻 when a man introduces his wife.
嫁
Now let’s guess. Do you think嫁 is appropriate to introduce your wife? The answer is no.
The very first嫁 was mentioned in the名語記(みょうごき) written in 鎌倉時代(かまくらじだい) A.D. 1275. It says,
“子息が妻をよめとなつく。”
(しそくがつまをよめとなつく)
Son’s wife should be called as よめ.
It implies that the male’s parents call their daughter-in-law as嫁. But why? Because, in the past, when parents introduce their daughter-in-law, they usually say
“うちに良い女が来てくれた。”
(うちによいおんながきてくれた)
“There is a good girl has come to our house.”
Please pay attention to “よいgood” and “女girl”. 女 is used to be pronounced as “め”. Therefore, 良い女 = to良(よ)い女(め) = よいめ, eventually become よめ. 嫁 means “son’s wife”, so it is not appropriate to use it on your own wife.
Enjoy your weekend!